I started this discussion topic b/c I find ...
I started this discussion topic b/c I find that I get incoherent when there are impatient drivers on the road causing near collisions. I'm currently focusing on neutral in my day-to-day movements and interactions in and around Los Angeles. I'm fond of humor as a good way to get to neutral and I'd appreciate any feedback on this topic since I find it difficult to find neutral sometimes.
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I find when I become
I find when I become emotionally triggered by something it helps for me to remind myself that "I am not my emotions". Thinking about that usually gives me enough space within to find neutral. Hope this helps :)
My favorite thing to do in
My favorite thing to do in rush hour traffic with inpatient drivers (and we have alot here in downtown Houston Texas) is to send them a divine safety bubble so I can benefit from it :).....I also love to wave at them and smile , as I go into appreciation that I don't take life so seriously that I am willing to kill myself over it.
There are three things that
There are three things that really help me get to neutral in a situation like this:
1) I remind myself that I do not know the situation of the person who cut me off. Maybe they have a pregnant woman lying flat on the back seat I cannot see who they are trying to rush to the hospital... or maybe they are rushing to the death bed of a loved one wanting to get that last moment and those last words before they pass. Or maybe they are suffering in deep depression and not noticing their driving.... Having been the driver in all of those situations, this gives me compassion and the benefit of the doubt for the other person and tends to calm my own reaction.
2) I remember that going to neutral is for me. The other person may have cut me off, but I can celebrate and appreciate that I lived through that! Why would I want to follow that up with filling my own body full of cortisol and give myself a slow death? Then I am doing to myself what it pisses me off that the other person put me in jeopardy of, and in that case I am the only one to blame!
3) Sometimes, if I really feel they are behaving recklessly and could harm someone else, I send heart with an intention or a hologram that in safe way with harm to none life bring them the experience they need to wake up to more wholeness care and awareness...
That's my strategy :) Hope it helps!
Love, Sheva
My approach has more to do
My approach has more to do with long range strategy, that short range. I'm reminded of a line from the Course of Miracles that stuck with me over the years. "nothing I see, means anything I think" Being 65, I've learned life is complex, the human psyche is complex, there are mutliple scenarios playing out, my small mind can not possibly know about . . . regardless of my gifted intuition. When something unpleasant "happens", I re-center myself, my natural default is not to "fight"(go to anger), to waste my energy resources, rather I pause my thoughts, create distance to allow a neutral perspective to rise up with multiple choices it has to offer, to counter the knee jerk one.
This does not relate to the specific scenario you name, being cut off by another driver. However, being angry at rude unexpected behaviors, can be like a gauge for measuring pent up internalized anger levels, and a wake up call for doing anger management work for things one has no control over. I'll provide one example of anger management work I did to survive passive aggressive behavior that became "normal" in a health care setting, where toxic stress levels led to early retirement.
As a sensitive person, I had no tolerance for passive aggression, yet I had to work with people who easily became passive aggresive under toxic stress conditions. I liked these people. I trained myself(using the the most aggressive person in the workplace) to look at her and find one thing about her I sincerely admired and could aspire to ... a beautiful part radiating from her core essence... albeit clothed in obnoxious behavior ... each time I was required to interact with her for work reasons I would connect in my heart with the essence energy of this beautiful quality, and put myself in neutral with no expectation of outcome... other than creating a more humane caring working environment. When I took the initiative to create the heart space for "us" she began to open and drop defensive annoying behaviors. A little respect goes a long way. When I could do this with coworkers in the intense environment of my workplace, it became more natural in random "happenings", because I had neutralized my own internalized stress and expectations.
This past week, I saw a
This past week, I saw a honking-yelling four-way stop sign occurrence. I finally got to see the very thing that made me post this discussion group. Instead of me being the angry person, I was observing it. My take away was that the person who was honking her horn was right to be mad because she had the right of way. The other guy (who was in front of me) made a "rolling" stop. The whole disobedience of the traffic law lasted less than 2 seconds. This woman got so mad, hoking her horn, and yelling out her window for something that lasted less than 2 seconds. That's when it clicked for me. It's the energy resource. In this instance, what good does it do for me when I get angry at someone for the way they drive on the road? Sometimes it's less than 2 seconds of my life. But that anger lasts with me for minutes, sometimes hours. Yes, there are impatient drivers out there, and the long-term consequence of my energy is more valuable than directing that anger energy at someone who crossed my path for 2 seconds.
Thank you for your responses!
Maybe we could start a new
Maybe we could start a new thread about neutral in the face of passive-aggressive behavior. I am very direct, and it is a pet-peeve of mine when people are passive-aggressive. Thank you for your post.
getting to neutral! I so need
getting to neutral! I so need to do this more...I find what works better is if I visualize the car metaphor...moving from drive back to neutral, I don't have to go anywhere...just idle, let my system chill :)
We spend so much of our time
We spend so much of our time in our cars and it's a perfect place to practice being in neutral. Before I ever start the engine in my car, I pause for a minute and get neutral, feeling tons of gratitude for my car, and envisioning a pleasant and safe drive to my destination. I envision myself and everyone around me driving to the best of our ability, being respectful of each other, and I see the traffic flowing in a nice, steady flow. This has worked wonders for me. When I forget to do this, inevitably it makes for a rough ride.
I have a button I press in my
I have a button I press in my car. It scrolls a message on the back of my car to the car following. "CAUTION~~ There is a fool I am making adjustments for in the road ahead~~ Thank You."
I, too, am direct and have
I, too, am direct and have had past issues with passive aggressive behaviors. In many cases, I have confronted them. The word/action confront tells me I am not coherent and now I wait.
If I do that and, past, breathe, my perspective shifts and I am able to speak with the person in a positive manner. I now have to do this shortly after the occurrence or I avoid it and then a festering frustration could set in.
The other day a woman with a
The other day a woman with a cane
was trying to load groceries into her car ;when I offered to help
she said "screw you "
I must say my life has changed because of this work ; not long ago i may have taken her cane and put it to use where ithought it would do the most good .
upsets happen ; we live in a world of choas but our world dosen't have to be chaos . Heart mastrey opens us up to practicing sovereign self ; with heart wisdom and heart intudition .
Neautrality is empowerment ; in a situation like this it is how we can be most effective...... first to ourselves and then to the circumstance .
Neautrality is how I give my attention ; Its light emphatic and in the flow of my energy
Im certainly not there yet in every circumstance ; yet when I give myself choice ;and go into heart freeze frame
I feel its power and resonance in the moment ; its like I am on the right station and aligned with the right vibration
with all this noise and drama going on around me .
i find myself in ease ; yet spiritually accountable and resposible to the situation standing up for myself with an attude of love
for heart and self and actually seeing value and benifit in the situation thats
outside the chaos ; Neautrality is the practice of being bigger than the problem ;and giving yourself something at the same time ; Its of the greatest benifit to heal yourself with ; as it teaches you healing and compassion and sees parraell oppurtunity for transformation ....perhaps of the highest order ;
What does this look like ? .......I am remoinded of the old saying "One hand clapping "
and as funny as this sounds its there ......you just have to listen ;
hope this helps